NEAT Hand Insurance
Many thanks for your interest in our hand insurance policies. We've taken a look into your personal history, and have discovered that you did not wash your hands after visiting the bathroom at some point on January 23rd 1998. This unfortunately invalidates any claim you may have to taking out hand insurance through NEAT, and it is with regret that we must deny your application. Apologies for the inconvenience, and best of luck getting your hands insured with other insurers.
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Issue Two is now available